So I've been absent in the last couple of weeks, I'm sorry, no excuses I know, but there really aren't enough hours in the day! I'll add it to my list of resolutions for this year!
I have thoroughly enjoyed the end of 2013, probably more so than any other part of the year. This has definitely been a year I will never ever forget. It has honestly been full of heartache and smiles, but despite the heartache, I wouldn't change it because it is true what they say. 'What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger' and even though I took a couple of huge blows, I feel as though I have come out on top and more determined than ever before!
Having my daughter Maisie in March this year, is by far the biggest highlight of my life let a lone year, but it was also the most traumatic. With her being born my Emergency C-Section 5 weeks ahead of schedule and being starved of oxygen due to a foetal hemorrhage. My whole world fell to pieces. We were told worst case scenario; that she may not pull through, that she may have severe brain damage, she may never walk... the list of heart breaking news seemed endless. All we could do was sit and wait for four days whilst she was cooled and re-warmed to core temperature after 72 hours. In hope that it would prevent any further damage to her brain. The criteria for this treatment is for babies of 36 weeks gestation. Maisie was just shy of this, being born at 35+3 weeks but the consultants decided to try it anyway in hope it would make a difference.We continued to get bad news about her brain; it was showing signs of severe abnormal activity.
After the first four agonising days of her life, she finally opened her big blues. We finally got to hold her. We weren't out the woods, but it was starting to look brighter through the trees! We still had to take her for an MRI scan and an EEG scan to see what was happening with her brain as she also had two major seizures when she was first born along with two blood transfusions to replace the blood she had lost.sitting in with Maisie whilst she was having her MRI scan was heart breaking, my tiny little girl who was only 4lb 8oz being put in that huge machine that was louder than being stood next
to road works without ear defenders. I wanted it to be over quickly for her. this was shortly followed by the EEG test which I can only describe as LOTS of tiny wires being stuck all over her head, what I found so comforting is that considering I missed out on so much bonding time for the first four days of her life she would instantly settle in my arms every time.
Awaiting the results of the MRI and EEG were excruciating. Of course we would love her no matter what but we had to keep positive for her also, have a little faith. When we did get the results a few days later we were told that the results of the EEG showed that her brain activity was now mildly abnormal, so even though it wasn't fully as should be it had showed improvement. The results of her MRI however, told us that three parts of her brain were damaged. The first part effected her sight. Would my little girl never see my face? Her Daddy's face? Her own beautiful face? The second part of her brain that was effected was her speech. Would she be able to speak at all? Would she need speech therapy? Would she ever say 'Mummy' and 'Daddy'? the third part that was damaged was her movement! Would my baby smile? pick up a toy? walk? dance? learn to drive? So many things
flooded through my head, and as quick as they came, they went and I was left numb! A few moments later I thought to myself, 'It doesn't matter. She is still here, she is a little fighter and I love her and will do anything to give her a happy life!'
From that moment on, I did just that. I did everything I possibly could to do everything every other mum would do had they have just had a baby and continued to do so ever since. Maisie is now 9 months old and is just like any other baby, she sits on her own and plays with her toys, she eats finger foods on her own, she is smiley and giggly and a very content little girl. she isn't too interested in crawling but she loves to stand supporting herself, and I don't think it will be long before she takes her first steps! I was the luckiest Mummy in the world in 2013, and I'm the most grateful mummy too! Maisie defied all the odds we were given and I couldn't be prouder of her! So here are some of my memories of 2013, one that will always be remembered but I'm now ready to make 2014 one that
will be even more memorable!
No comments:
Post a Comment